It's been over a month since I've actually written a decent sized blog. Perhaps because I am so busy....but still, this is my outlet and it's helpful to let off steam somewhere. Over the past month things have changed dramatically. I have seen a doctor a couple of times to figure out a few issues and got on some medication that has helped me a lot. I am halfway through the fall quarter already, and ready for summer break again. I started a new job that allows me to have a lot of homework time. I am somewhat regularly attending church again, and trying to be trusting of people a bit more. I have reconnected with some old friends who I am so thankful for at this point in my life. And a very special man and I have talked through some things are again together and trying to make our lives work together.
All in all, things are going well, and I can see that they are. Over the summer I struggled a lot with being thankful for life and for friends.....I had a hard time seeing why it was worth even being around anymore, not that I was planning anything, but I was pretty down in the dumps. Not a whole lot was going wrong or anything, but my heart was being challenged by God to trust Him in the midst of not know the future. I don't do well with that type of testing, but I know His grace is sufficient and He isn't offended by my weakness and lack of trust in difficult times. He just wants me to trust Him because if I do He will be faithful to come through....
I always thought I would be somewhere else in life by this time. I thought I'd be done with school, I'd be in some foreign poor country loving on little orphans and helping the sick. I thought I'd be married and maybe have a baby or two of my own. I thought I would have a mortgage, a nice yard, maybe be a gardener....I have always wanted a garden!
But life doesn't end up being exactly the way we plan things and that's the adventure of life. It throws curve balls and often times really difficult ones.....but God is near at all times, and He knows exactly what we need even when we think we need something else.
I have a good God on my side, a loving yet dysfunctional family, and incredible friends from all walks of life that I truly appreciate and love so much.
I just pray for the time to enjoy it, instead of the rush of life taking over!
