The Death of Me

I am sitting at my desk at my beautiful work in Gig Harbor. I have a list of things to do, but I think I could possibly accomplish all of them in a short amount of time, therefore I write.
I am fond of listening to music whenever I can, sometimes silence is too loud for me. This leads me to the point of this blog. (first another seeming rabbit trail)
I have a Myspace, mainly to keep in touch with my brother and one of my nieces, but I also have a number of "friends" that are musicians so I can listen to music. You know, you can accept people you have never met or heard of and then all of a sudden they are your friend on the cyber side of things. Well I am a big fan of the worship team Shane & Shane. I have seen them live once so I consider it a step up from just clicking "accept" although I have no idea who they are.
Anyways, they have a song on their profile called Vision of You-
it goes:
Awaken what's inside of me
tune my heart to all You are
and even though You're here God come
May the vision of You be the death of me
And even though You've given everything
Jesus Come~

wow...right? It goes on to say in one of the verses "Jesus come free us, for You are the only One that can free us, without You we only have songs"

Life throws us so many curve balls, we walk through life expecting one thing but if it is shifted a bit, we get just a glimmering glimpse of how out of control we truly are.
So many things beckon us away from simplicity with Him. But that is all I long for. Simplicity.
It is even just a beautiful word.
Even church is not excluded from calling us away from His voice. Recently my eyes have been opened to how much I have fallen away from my FIRST LOVE even though I am wasting myself on ministry type activities! But that is all they are- activities..... My heart is breaking every moment of the day, I want that love back. A passion for Christ, because I am HIS passion!
I want a vision of Him once again that my self will be put to death and I can genuinely commune with the Lover of my soul.
And isn't it so true how present He is at all times, yet we still need Him to manifest His presence, a realistic embrace of who He is and His face being shown to us in an almost tangible way.
I need Him to come although biblically He is already here and will always be here. I want to escape this human tent sometimes so badly just to go to a place with Him where otherwise my flesh restrains me.
I can only come to this conclusion that out of His passion for me, my desire for a passion for Him will be honored and He will continue to guide along that path that eventually leads to eternal communion with Him without the contraints of a fleshly nature.