Wake me up when September ends

It's the 2nd and I am already ready for this month to get gone. Maybe rushing through life is a bad idea hey? Yah, it is. But sometimes when you just don't want to deal with the inevitable you would rather revert back to childish behavior and throw a tantrum to somehow get away from life circumstances you don't want to face.

I am excited about a couple things this Septiembre though....don't worry, it's just September in Spanish. I am going to a lake party this week to ride some jet skis and play with some cute little babies. I am also going camping which I am excited to be doing NOT on the side of a mountain. THEN, Brad Paisley among a plethora of other artists will be performing LIVE at the Gorge and I AM GOING TO ATTEND! I got myself a real cowgirl hat and some real boots to feel like I fit in...I even got really good at shooting a 9mm and a 45 over the past couple weeks so I have something to fall back on if anyone gives me flack for not being the "part." :)

Then the Puyallup Fair will be going on. There is that fun Fall feeling when the fair is alive and happening. I love going and walking around, people watching, eating ridiculously HUGE earthquake burgers, elephant ears, SCONES, and everything else.....I love the deep fried corn dogs too....it was a secret shame of mine until I confessed it on this thing...which again I believe only 2 people read. Maybe 3 sometimes.

I want to make a budget of what I can spend at the fair and go CRAZY. I want to ride on as many rides I can without getting sick, play some games and win oversized useless stuffed animals, and watch the pig races. Also I heard there are going to be some great concerts this year, so I may have to take a looksie and see who's performing. Hopefully I will have some people to go with.

Why is Tacoma a suckfest and all my friends decide to ditch it? I am going to too I've decided. I need out of here as fast as possible. This place will always have a special spot, since I grew up here and all, but I want out and I want to go somewhere warm year round with actual seasons and I want to live somewhere with lightning bugs. And I want to get away from a place that has so many painful memories honestly. There really isn't a place I haven't been where there's not some story... I want a fresh start.

After the fair I am seriously gonna hate the rest of the month. School starts, and the days get shorter. Rain will start showing up and my tan will soon fade back to my original color. I will probably be trying to keep myself busy to try and not feel like I am in limbo waiting on a conversation or two I really hope happens sooner than later so my heart can just have some peace for the first time in over two months. I also will be needing to find a new place to move. Living with my momma can only be good for so long before I gotta get out of dodge.

Random thought but I will leave you with this. I've been thinking on this for some time and just can't shake it.

Are you willing to fight with everything you have and let God be your strength to get and keep what you desire and long for? If not, are you willing to get there no matter the price you have to pay?

I want my answer to be yes....but it's not yet. When you've been so emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically drained because of every circumstance that is not fair, or is mean, or hurtful...you tend to learn fast not to trust anyone...that includes God often times because He is the one that could have not let any of those things happen......but in the end, we are human and He gives us the right to make our own decisions, so really He can't truly be to blame... but it still is hard to trust Him....

Hopefully I can get there. I don't know what else I have if He doesn't do something soon.