Redding

So I've been planning to visit a friend in Redding for a few months and like to be a woman of my word. Therefore I made the 10 hour treck down the 5 and got in around 4pm yesterday with a flat tire and sore back....BUT it was good. I danced in the car, sang really loud, chugged a red bull and almost threw up....stopped to see my cute niece and sister in law which is always a treat.
Today we went to church at a pretty well known church. I wouldn't probably make it my home church ever but I enjoy one of the speakers a ton and like to go to a service when I am in town which is rare.
I feel like this guy speaks on a level where my brain is free to really learn some new profound stuff that you wouldn't learn in a "normal" Sunday service if you know what I mean. It's so deep and almost offensive but if you test it up with the Bible, it stands firm. So I feel refreshed a bit.

Other than that life is still just trudging along at its normal pace....I am missing the times I had when all my friends were close by and misunderstandings were far and few between, I am missing someone so much right now who became such a good friend to me over this past year, it's been almost a month since we've talked and it just feels weird....my heart is sad but I guess I am exactly where I need to be to get through what I need to get through with.

I have no idea what the future holds, I've been dreaming with a friend about moving to Saginaw, TX for nursing school.....perhaps that would be fun. I am just riding the waves of life I guess.

I know I am not alone in this when I say, looking back at when I was 14 or 15, I thought I was going to be somewhere so different than where I am at right now in life. I'm 25 and feel so unaccomplished. I know 25 is young still but I feel like I am running out of time or something.
I don't have a strong booming career, I haven't done any of the childhood dreams I thought I would do, I'm not married with apparently no prospect of getting married anytime soon, I don't have babies which I won't lie, it hurts sometimes when I think of how badly I want to be a momma. I don't own a house, have a mortgage, a community of friends that I can go to the local bar and hang out with every week or so and just have a good time.....

Life has thrown so many interesting curve balls, and subtly too, because one day I woke up and realized all of this.

God has to have a plan, and hopefully He supplies the strength to me so that I can hold on and hope in what He is going to do.

I am on a friend's computer right now, as I had to give mine to my friend since I can't be trusted with my own computer...I tend to torture myself and make my heart hurt worse if I have the means to check in on things I just need to let go of for now.....so I probably won't be making any posts for a week or so, if you email me I probably won't get it for a while.....
Love to you~